Drastic II

Another unfortunate day. I was listless and lethargic most of the day. perhaps in a bit of shock. Failure sucks.

I wanted to go mountain biking but I just didn't have it in me. Literally, I tried, but I ended up taking an hour shower and then a 2 hour nap and it was 4p before I knew it (I didn't get up until noon). I'll come back tomorrow and hit it hard (and I'll row tonight instead).

I know it'll get better. I sent a relatively dramatic text message to my girlfriend:

"I've had a self-inflicted rough day. Now mostly listless and lethargic. Essentially, I gained actual knowledge of my physical state: 278 pound and about 35% body fat. If I fail at this it'll kill me. Trying to resolve mentally/emotionally. Hard to hear. "

All of that is true. I think I'm going over to her place later. At which time, I'm going to seek out the coolest triathlon I can find for June, sign up for it, and then start to train diligently for it. i'll also need to start monitoring the state of my physical affairs.

We'll see.

(mountain biking area captured via google earth, listed above).

Drastic

My view is that desperate issues require significant "beatback" efforts. I can do better. I should do better. I must do better. This will cost me years of my life.

Ugh.

new body fat numbers - highest yet

well, as predicted:

New number: 30.423%

p: 33, 29, 24, 23, and 31; I kept: 29, 24, and 31.
s: 53, 63, 63 68 and 67; I kept 63, 63 and 67.
T: 15, 12, 16, 10 and 8; I kept 15, 12, and 10.

"T:" was the most difficult measurement. I simply couldn't quite get the calipers to work right -- it mostly caused redness on my skin. Also, it seemed to either be 18 or 3. . . but little inbetween.

As for tape measurements, they are:
N: 17.75;
B: 15.00;
C: 51.00;
US: 50.00;
LS: 45.00; and
T: 25. 50

I must say it was predicted. I can't quite bring myself to get on the scale though.

Frustrating.

Update and preparing for new measurements

The truth is this: I often hide from the truth. It's not healthy. But it's predictable.

I hope to do some measurements tonight -- but I know. I know that my pants are tighter then they have ever been. I also know that some of my suits no longer fit. I suppose it is part of the cost of my first year of practice.

During the past year I think my nutrition has been better than my exercise -- but it's been a low threshhold. I suspect my average workouts are 2-3 times per week. I know I consume too many calories per day; however, i do try to eat more roughage, vegetables and fruit. However, I often fail at that task. Salads for me are definitely hit and miss. I do like to eat frozen meals since they are more predictable.

But, fact is: When you work 60-70 hours per week, some portion of your life is going to suffer. For me, that something seems to be not only relationships with others, but also my health. Doesn't seem like that's a rational trade, but it seems to occur with some regularity for me. That probably deserves some examination.

kc

Update

I'm professionaly fulfilled. I'm physically challenged.

I retain lots of extra fat. I have regular to semi-regular exercise rituals.

ROWING

I continue to row with great regularity. Anywhere between 5,000 meters and 10,000 meters. I'd like to row more, or transfer over to other types: running, cycling, swimming and weight lifting.

LIFE

In the meanwhile, life has been ganging up on me. Professionaly, I have lots of demands on my time (but I do REALLY LOVE the new job). Moreover, I just moved into a new apartment (my own place finally again) . The new place has required lots of attention. I still have remaining projects. However, the projects are dwindling. And, with more time available for "investment" I'd like to push those time-chips toward fitness/health.

NUTRITION

I'd like to ratchet up my nutrition knowledge. I'd then like to use those habits to make even better choices. I know the short answer is more fruits and vegetables. And fewer calories, all else being equal. I should also drink more water.

CONCLUSION

I should write more often. And track more of what I'm doing. I need to also take more photographs.

Long Tim e No Post - View From New Career

Time to Take Stock

It’s an interesting point in my life, despite the failure at the long term goal I’d set to reduce myself by 100 pounds. I still struggle with my actual weight. But, to some degree, I’ve let myself just continue to be. . . and observe the realities of a brand new and demanding career.

My newfound career is, indeed, incredibly rewarding. And incredibly fun (OK, I’ll admit it: I’m a prosecutor). However, it is also incredibly time consuming. I have some financial clouds hanging over the top of me – but I think they will ultimately be resolved in my favor. (And, even if they’re not fully resolved, the career change was well worth the mini-financial struggle).

About a year ago, I went through an incredibly difficult financial period. Immediately out of law school, I simply didn’t have the income necessary to support the debt I’d accumulated. I didn’t want to go get just any old job out of law school, because I definitely had my sites set on being a prosecutor. So, I endured low pay (~$26,000, later raised to $39,000) to work as a not-yet-permanent member of the prosecutor’s office. Ultimately, that bet paid off with a job as a prosecutor in that office. While that was a tremendous benefit, the burden was the financial sacrifice. To some degree, the financial sacrifice continues (I earn in the upper five figures. . . but need to pay ~$1,200 per month in student loans). It’s all doable. And the fitness things are coming round.

My workouts over the summer were way too sporadic. Things are really crazy and unpredictable at the beginning cycle of careers, generally, and really unpredictable in my particular career. I definitely put in some 70-80 hour weeks in the beginning. The hours have massively dwindled since then. I’ve also been a bit kinder and gentler to myself: If I work all those hours, I no longer insist upon 8 workouts per week. I take multiple days off in an attempt to accliminate myself.

But, now that I’ve been in the office for about 4 months, I am getting the hang of it. And I’d like to get back to setting real fitness goals for the next year or so. Moreover, it’s been a bit difficult these days with interesting roommate predicaments. Morning workouts can be tricky because I have to wait to get into the shower, and at the new gig, I simply can’t walk in 30 minutes later than I need to be (bad idea to keep a judge waiting for you late ass). I suppose I could go hit the gym during the lunch break. . . but even that can be a bit hard – certainly difficult to schedule.

I’ve purposefully been quite easy on myself for the past two weeks, because of several factors: 1) My new part-time job is searching for places to live; and 2) the new career is demanding; and 3) I want to be frugal with the food I have on hand, so I’ve internally agreed to not go to the grocery store (except milk, juice and occasional fruit), until I move out of the loft.

FITNESS GOALS

I still hold onto the ideal that I’d like to do an Ironman. Specifically, I’d love to complete one before the age of 40. I would also like to increase my physical appearance. I’ve set a ‘get real’ deadline to coincide with when I take my new apartment (which seems to be imminent). I’ve been reticent to openly track my weight in other parts of the my current apartment(particularly on the refrigerator) because it would be embarrassing (my roommates would see it as well, and I’d prefer to maintain quiet peace about it). But, in my own place, I think I could rationally do it, and it would be fine. At minimum, I’d like to get myself down to 230 pounds. Even more ideal would be fewer than 200 pounds. And pure ideal would be 5% body fat at 175 pounds or so. I do have a gym membership, so weight lifting is definitely possible.

In order to so, I need to radically increase my nutritional perspective. And, increasing caloric burn would be helpful as well.

k

data weigh-in; measure-in - new body fat calculator site

A new and interesting body fat site is here: http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/bfb.

It uses the Navy and YMCA method of measuring body fat. For me, I came up 32.75% (Navy) and 26.85% YMCA. By calipers I came in at 25.891%.

data:

N: 16.50
B: 14.25
C: 47.00
UW: 45.00
LW: 41.25
H: 43.50
T: 24.00
P: 10, 15, 20, 19, 15 -- left with: 15, 19, 15
S: 54, 57, 56, 56, 53 -- left with: 54, 56, 56
T: 15, 14, 12, 15, 16 -- left with: 15, 14, 15

New data

A story or two.

I think I've conquered my immediate term financial issues. Thus, I think I can easily and happily compete all season long in triathlons. In fact, I've now committed to pushing the envelope and going for a half-ironman at the end of the season. However, that enthusiasm may ultimately need to be tempered due to new career demands in my newfound profession (lots of trials!).

Data:

P: 24, 22, 17, 21, 25; I kept: 22, 21, 25
S: 54, 53, 51, 53, 47; I kept: 53, 51, 53
T: 14, 9, 9, 11, 11; I kept: 9, 11, 11

Ultimately this works out to 25.522% body fat according to the calipers.

Also, I had the following body measurements:

Neck: 16.75
biceps: 14.00
c: 47.50
upper waist: 46.50
lower waist: 42.50
Hips: 44.00
Thigh: 43.50



I had a really hard time grabbing the thigh measurements for body fat. I did the best I could though. . .

New Numbers Rolling In

I suppose I need to report the good with the bad.

The numbers:

N: 17.00
B: 14.25
c: 48.00
UW: 46.50
LW: 42.00
H: 44.75
T: 24.00

These numbers are roughly the same as they were two weeks ago.

Weight: 261.0
BF (on Tanita scale): 37.0%

Caliper measurements:

P: 18, 20, 21, 19, 19; i kept: 20, 19, 19
S: 55, 52, 48, 51, 46; i kept: 52, 48, 51
T: 14, 14, 16,14, 12; i kept: 14, 14, 14

the formula produces a body fat of: 25.098% (rounded to 25.10%).

Nonetheless, I have been getting more exercise in. In particular, I've been more focused on running about10 miles per week.

I should know about my career job in about a week (+/- a few days). That should relieve some stress potentially. In the meanwhile, I have to keep taking things one day at a time. Easier said than done :-).

k

Update

This is a long overdue entry.

I’ve always enjoyed using the natural break in numerical year to reflect upon my prior year’s success and failures. While the past year in training was, at best, lackluster – and the weight gain was surely a failure, nevertheless, my increased financial health (and license to practice law) should ultimately result in a more healthy life.

Unfortunately, I graduated law school with an enormous amount of debt. The debt has been mentally crippling, because I was left with a difficult choice: Leave the public agency I love to serve and maintain my then “lifestyle” – or, give up the lifestyle I enjoyed in order to practice in the public sector. [It’s the best job I’ve ever had. I do what TV shows dramatize.] So, I downgraded my lifestyle. I moved into a pretty gnarly loft with lots of interesting people, parked my car on the street and take the bus to work (1.1 miles from where I live).

Hopefully it will all pay off with an official government job in about two months. If it doesn’t, there will be more looming financial issues. The short term debts with which I’ve struggled are now coming into focus. I’ve also developed some facility with – and, earned some extra income from – some anti-competitive (read: false advertising) laws. Essentially, one our laws provides a bounty of $1,000 per false advertisement.

This debt has crept into my exercise/triathlon regimen. Particularly, last year I cancelled all of my triathlons so I could reduce debt. It was a hard yet necessary choice. I hope I can allow myself a few races this year – or, alternatively, simply pay off my “bad” debt so that I can participate without any guilt.

* * *

In the meanwhile, I spent many hours rowing this year. I never knew I would love it so much. In fact, I now have 2 million meters in the rower in less than 2 years (about 22 months). It’s such an easy, convenient and quick workout: I can get up at about 8a, row for 30-45 minutes, shower and be to work at about 930a or so. And, whether it is light or dark outside is irrelevant: It can all be done while listening to the radio. Although, I do admit to being wistful of the time when I would watch TiVO while rowing away.

* * *

It is unclear whether and to what extent I will participate in triathlons this year. Indeed, some of it turns on whether one of my larger cases will settle in the next week or two -- or head to trial (a 2-5 year process typically). If it settles, then I suspect I will be out of debt, and I’ll be free to participate in triathlons.

If it doesn’t settle, I’ll be reluctant to spend money (read, borrow money at high rates of interest) to participate. I may do it anyway – but I want to at least be intellectually honest with myself about the cost of doing these races.

Indeed, in a perfect world, I’d likely do 1-2 xterra races, a half-ironman and 3-6 sprints/international distance races. But given my lack of base training at this late point (and potential lack of funds) it seems like a bit of a pipe dream. I suppose what I need to do is sit down and decide and low medium and high track – that is, what I’ll do if I settle early and pay off debt; what if I pay off half of “bad” debt now; versus, what if I have no early term settlements and must simply slowly but surely pay off debt via regular salary.

Beyond the triathlon endeavor, I would also love to do a few running races 5ks/10ks as well.

In the end, I do recognize the importance of exercise, generally, in my life. As well, I also recognize the great motivator organized races are for me – and they are just downright fun as well!

Weight and Body Fat - I continue to Struggle

I continue to struggle.

I was surprised to learn my body fat decreased (by caliper: 24.830%) while my weight increased (262.2; body fat tanita: 35.0%). I can tell my waist is larger than it's been in a while because my suits are much tighter. It's all very depressing.

While I try to eat well, I often fail at the task and succumb to overeating. Particularly, in recent times, I've spent many late nights preparing briefs for consumer litigation I'm currently pursuing. This lack of sleep does not help matters either.

However, I'm in a battle of fitness regimens: I'm trying to measure my physical fitness against my financial fitness. Trying to put it all together is incredibly difficult. I need to improve. Or, it may be serious time to simply consider surgery. I'm right on the edge of eligibility for the surgery I suspct. I believe I could legitimately weight 162.2 - thus, I'm likely at or near 100 pounds overweight. I understand that's the test: Eligibility begins at >= 100 pounds overweight.

I've been rowing more these days but not keeping up with my other endeavors due to demands upon my time in my newfound part-time job as an evening [consumer, self-represented] quasi-attorney (I have a day job as an attorney at a government office). While this has produced some much needed extra income, my health has suffered in some degree because of it. That's unfortunate, but may simply be a trade-off. Indeed, ironic, I say that when the hour is 2:17 a.m.

Hey, did I mention I need to become more efficient and focused?

k.

IT REMAINS TRICKY

It all remains tricky.

Current measurements:

current / largest / smallest

b: 14.5 / 17.0 / 13.3
t: 24.5 / 27.5 / 22.3
upw: 45.75 / 48.0 / 41.0
lw: 42.5 / 43.0 / 38.0
c: 47.0 / 53.0 / 43.3
n: 16.75 / 18.0 / 15.75

Moreover, I also had an overal caliper body fat of 26.441.

Overall, the numbers tell me, I'm going slightly down in weight/body mass. This is good. I wish it were more and I wish it werent' where it is currently - but this is all productive use of the spreadsheet.

While my weight/body fat either rose or remained the same (roughly) -- my measurements declined in a significant measure (from 46.5 waist to 45.75 -- 3/4 of an inch is a significant measurement.

Tonight, I'm going out with my GF - to some expensive fish restaurant. I don't much like going, because I tend to make poor choices (sort of like an alcoholic at a bar).

It's interesting, the female portion of the couple we're meeting for dinner had gastric bypass about 10-14 weeks ago. I'll bet she looks entirely different though. . .

We'll see. . .

quick posting on the numbers

here's a quick posting on teh numbers:

N: 17.00
B: 14.00
c: 47.50
UW: 46.50
LW: 42.50
T: 24.50

measurements for body fat calipers:

c: 17, 17, 19
s: 53, 52, 54
t: 17, 16, 17

caliper body fat: 26.02%

Slight improvements over measurements approximately two weeks ago (from 27.1% to 26.02%). Most of the actual circumferences are similar (I believe one or two the same, one or two lower and one or two slightly higher).

Could be worse.. . and, let's be honest, could be lots better.

However, I have been able to functionally substitute lots of rowing for lots of running. . . and I'll ease into the running as time comes by. . .

I do want to push things through the winter and get to a place where I can do the ralph's half ironman in California -- comfortably do it, I might add :-).

k

Training Log Blogs

Sounds like a nice woman for the Carolinas. . .

http://www.triathlontrainingblog.com/?cat=2

Another nice one:

http://www.theseamonster.com/trainingblog/

Body Fat Calipers

Lest there be any confusion. . .

Body fat calipers: 27.10%.

measurements:

N: 16.75
B: 15.00
C: 47.25
UW: 47.00
LW: 42.25
T: 23.50

note:

today compared to historical high

B: 15.0 / 17.0
T: 23.5 / 27.5
UW: 4.7.0 / 48.0
LW: 42.3 / 43.0
C: 47.3 / 53.0
N: 16.8 / 18.0

hips: 44.5

today compared to historical low

B: 15.0 / 13.25
T: 23.5 / 22.25
UW: 47.0 / 41.00
LW: 42.3 / 38.00
C: 47.3 / 43.25
N: 16.8 / 15.75

So, all of that to say, it could be better and it could be worse.

On 03.21.06 I weighed 247. I've gained about 11 pounds since then. Also, on 08.21.05 I weighed 220 pounds. So, I've gained 38 pounds since then. That's bad. It shows my inability to control calories, particularly when not engaged in frenetic training for some athletic (typically triathlon) event.

It's all saddening and brings me down. But I know I can make things improve dramatically with focused and determined effort. So, it's time to double down on the issue and get after it.

here's hopin' :-).

--C.

Two months since last post - updates

Hi All,


It's been a few months since my past post.

In the meanwhile, I learned that while I passed the Bar Exam (in California), I had a short term (and mean) cash crunch that awaited me immediately thereafter. I've mostly handled that issue -- and have a workable plan for the remainder.

I have a girlfriend (of about a year now). Time management is the big issues, as is dietary issues. I know what I should be eating, but since I'm often away (and, consequently, I have less control) over what food is put in front of me, it has made this quite difficult. Indeed, I weight about 260 today.

2.5 years from inception of this blog, I believe, is 11-2006 -- so the clock is ticking. It would appear from all of my travails and heartaches, that I probably AM a good candidate for gastric bypass surgery. Nonetheless, that still feels like failure to me -- and I'd like to try to finnagle away around it via better exercise and eating habits -- despite multiple failures at that path.

TRIATHLON TRAINING PLAN

In fact, I've now set my sites on competing at the Ralph's Half Ironman in California next March or so. I'm not sure when registration will occur, but I drew up my individual training plan earlier today.

In the past few weeks (particularly the last two weeks), I've been getting out and being more active, which is good. I also finally got my computrainer reconfigured so I can more easily ride in the evenings.

What I have yet to workout is how long my base period will run -- and -- how I will work out interval training into the plan. For instance, I saw this website tonight (http://www.triathlon.mb.ca/training_david_manual.htm) and it seemed to provide lots of insight. I also read this article (http://www.trifuel.com/triathlon/swim/interval-training-000320.php) and it seemed helpful as well.

I do feel more motivated then I have been in a while -- which is good. I feel like I'm ready to go out and seize the day as it were. And, indeed, tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of my life (at least according to my triathlon planning).

k.

White paper on overfat and athletic endeavors.

WHITE PAPER ON ATHLETIC ENDEAVORS
May – 2006

CHALLENGES

The last few months have been particularly challenging.

I took THE licensing exam.

I discovered my debt was larger than I imagined and a cash crisis ensued.

I reorganized much (though not all) of the debt. And, essentially, I traded large blocks of time in an effort to save $$$. I could have only held onto the time, if I had had a spent money – but spending the money would have made the problem worse.

Indeed, I moved about a mile from work in a downtown loft. I get my results in two weeks from the licensing exam. That controls my future. If I’ve passed, I’ll go into the professional ranks; otherwise, I’ll need to study again (the exam is only given twice per year – and the next one is July). I would probably work through the second exam. . . I just can’t afford to take another two months off from work. (Although, I’d be tempted to take the last month off. . . ).

WEIGHT GAIN

In the meanwhile, my weight has steadily increased, from a low of ~220 (maybe even 215) to about 250. I’ll need to start tracking it again. However, my deadline is looming large. It seems I’m unable to realistically control my weight, and I may need to look long and hard at surgical interventions. The whole idea was to give myself large blocks of time and see how I did with it. . . I’ve not fared so well.

THE PLAN

It’s so difficult to plan right now. There are two tracks: The “I-passed-the-exam” plan; and the “I-didn’t-pass-the-exam” plan.

I Passed the Exam Plan

Diet – Nutrition – Exercise – Weight Loss

I think more than anything I desperately need to control the number of calories I consume per day. It’s tough given my job environment, girlfriend’s penchant for eating out and my own devious ways. But it all realistically starts there, and ripples from there out.

If I’ve passed the exam, then I think I’d like to do three triathlons this summer – all within driving distance – and likely international distances. I would do more, but I simply can’t afford to do it. Unless, I could magically reconfigure all of my debts down to more reasonable interest rates. Then, perhaps, I would consider 5 or so triathlons.

The cost of a triathlon is typically ~$75 for the event; and $25 for gas/incidentals. But I really love doing them. Thus, it would add about $300 to my costs over the summer.

I think I would try to do one in June, July and August (and, indeed, maybe I would try to sneak one in during September, if I were to get my dreamed of job down in San Diego).

In particular I envision a weekly schedule of something like this for the coming weeks:

Mon: AM: Run 3-5; PM: 15 mile bike
Tue: AM: Row 10-15k; PM: swim 2500 yards
Wed: AM: Run 3-5; PM: 15 mile bike
Thu: AM: Row 10-15k; PM: swim 2500 yards
Fri: AM: Bike 15 miles;
Sat: AM: Bike 25 miles; Run 4-6 miles
Sun: AM: Row 15k PM: swim 2500 yards (50 meter pool night swim).

Swim: 7500 yards
Bike: ~55 miles
Run – 10-16 miles;
Row: 35-45k


GIRLFRIEND

The management issue for time with the GF continues to be an extra-hard challenge. I love spending time with her, but it’s very clear that we have very different priorities. And, when you have someone that considers it a great week when they make it to the gym three times, the disparity is palpable. It frustrates her because she views it, to some degree – as me choosing the gym over her. . . I just want to get the workouts in. It makes me feel better. I live my life wishing God would just give me an extra 6 hours a day so I could just get everything done.

She has lots of spare time – and wants (demands?) to spend it with me. We’re different in that way.

RAMPING UP

I would like to ramp up the season and just get the exercise thing going. Not sure exactly how to accomplish all of it. . . but I’d like to get started.

To some degree I suppose I’ll need to put my foot down and express it in terms of my own needs. I need to be able to workout without a guilty conscious.

DATA:

So, I ran the data tonight.

Body fat: 24.501% (via body fat calipers).

Tanita says:
253.0 pounds
43.5% body fat.

So, I weigh more and produced the highest body fat percentage I’ve ever seen on my scale. I’m not sure what to do about it, other than what I’ve always done about it. Which is to eat better and exercise more. And, to be sure about it: Eat Better, means more of me controlling my diet with lots of veggies and whole food products and many fewer restaurants. That sort of lifestyle is a killer for me. It’s clear: I’ve GOT to talk to the girlfriend and get her on board.

Not sure how well this is going to go over.

k.

Body Fat - Calipers

Long lost measurements.

Today I measured. I hadn't measured in a few months. It's up. A ways I suspect.

measurements:

P: 14, 21, 19, 12, 17 (which becomes: 14, 19, 17).
S: 48, 47, 52, 53, 48 (which becomes: 48, 52, 48).
T: 17, 16, 16, 14, 14 (which becomes: 16, 16, 14).

These numbers come out to: 24.501% body fat.

Not sure what it was before. . . but I do believe it used to be lower :-).

ki.

GainingBack Losses

still gaining back. Trying to stem the tide.

Gaining back the losses

Gaining back the loss

In some ways it feels like the tide. You can only swim against it so long before it drags you back into shore.

I weigh 245 pounds. About what I weighed in January 05. . . about 20 pounds heavier than my moving average in August-05.

Moreover, one of my original posts set a deadline for becoming a “healthy” weight by 2-2.5 years from May-04. Thus, the “dropping 100 pounds” deadline appears to be between May-06 and 11-06. It seems unattainable at this point. I’d need to lose 70-80 pounds in barely 2 to 8 months (8 to 32 weeks) – at 32 weeks, that would be about 2.7 pounds per week.

I did read my old notes. At failure, so goes the idea, then it is time to consider bariatric bypass surgery (stomach stapling).

I pulled the old data and measured new circumferences

New:

N: 17
B: 14
C: 45.5;
UW: 44.5;
LW: 41.0;
T: 23.5

Old:

N: 18.0
B: 17.0
C: 53.0
UPW: 48.0
LW: 43.0
T: 27.5

From ~09-2006

N: 15.8
B: 13.3
C: 43.3
UPW: 41.0
LW: 38.0
T: 22.3

More bad news: I weight 247 tonight. I had a body fat last night of 25.60% (measured with calipers). 33% via the tanita scale. In June of 05 I was ~25%; 07-05: 24%; 08-05: 22-23%; 08 (late) -05: 21.57%.

So I’ve increased about 4 caliper percentage points in body fat. This is a significant increase.

SOLUTIONS

There seem to be two straightforward solutions:
Increase caloric burn (exercise) and decrease calories (caloric control). The result should be weight loss and reduced body fat percentages.

I also need to formulate a plan for this. Unfortunately I just spent several hours in the most ridiculous surfing on the net: Looking for long lost friends from 3rd grade through high school. . .