A few random thoughts

I'm surprised this blog doesn't have more visitors (for all I know there may be visitors or readers, but I never receive email from it, and I've only received one comment). I guess my quest isn't all that interesting in the end. Nonetheless, it's a great medium for me to record my pseudo-anonymous thoughts. I also put it out in the universe with the most benevolent of intentions: I hope others who are trying to lose weight can learn from my success and failure.

SUCCESS

If success is judged solely by a weight number, then I'm starting to succceed.

I think a MAJOR factor in current weight loss success is the purchase of the treadmill. In fact, while walking on the treadmill tonight while watching a bit of TV, it dawned on me that I almost never sit on the couch and watch TV anymore, instead, I just pull the treadmill out and walk on it. Granted it was an expensive investment, but if it can get me from obesity to overweight, it will be worth the $600 bucks; if it can take me from obesity to "regular weight" (evidently under ~205 removes me from the overweight category), then it will have been an absolute steal.

In four weeks, I've walked approximately 45 miles. The quick math is 150 cals/mile * 45 miles = ~7,000 calories burned, roughly. I expect, at the current pace, I'll walk approximately 600 miles per year, and burn approximately 80,000 calories per year (the equivalent of 20 pounds).

DIET SODA

I stopped drinking Dr. Pepper after the first of the year, and this, too, may be a significant factor. Indeed, I've switched (with some consternation) to Diet Pepsi. My feeling is this: While diet pepsi may not be great for you, adn there may be some risk of cancer on down the line -- the far greater risk at this point is my obesity; so I'm rationally trading one evil for another. I try not to drink too much of it, but the fact is I enjoy some colored water taste (beyond simple water) at times, and diet pepsi seems to do the trick for me.

WEIGHT - NEW LOWS

So I recently dipped into the upper 230s in the past few days. This is exciting for a number of reasons: Firstly, insurance coverage is available to me when I reach 227 as I recall. So, I can reapply for that, hopefully in just a few short weeks. SEcond, one of the deals with myself is that I would force myself to go back to speed dating once I reached 220 (as I recall, I'll need to check old post for my actual personal promise). Well, that day is drawing near.

ABS

I've recently been thinking that I'd really like a developed abdomen. It would be fun. I think the main reason isn't for me though, it's because I think chicks would dig it. . . maybe they would, maybe they wouldn't. But I know physical fitness is an attribute that will help me in many other aspects of my life. So, I'll keep training toward that goal. The first step for getting abs is getting down to single digit body fat; and then once skinny (or perhaps simultaneously), developing the ab muscles through a regular routine. But it's not that the muscles will pop through the fat deposits; rather, it's that there will be no fat deposits so the muscles will show. But this is far down the line.

MOTIVATION

I think I also need to admit to myself that much of my motivation (and sometimes lack thereof) stems for my need to feel attractive to women; (hence, when I had a girlfriend, the need for physical fitness / good nutrition, simply wasn't as important). This is a potential problem, because, as always, the focus should be upon the gestalt of health, not body look as a means to an end.

With this in mind, there's a new woman (Ncy) that I'm exposed to -- and I'm strongly attracted to her. But, in the end, I feel unattractive due to my body image, and desperately wish I could wave a magic wand and fix the issue. Slowly but surely things are changing, but it is going to take some time.

CLOTHES

I recently purchased some new clothes and learned something I should have known years ago. I wear a 50 jacket, not a 48. One of the reasons I always hated suits, is that the suits never fit me. I did what many of us do, I sought the need to feel good about being in a lower size, and bought the lower size, because it kind of fit. . . when in reality it never really did fit. Now when I wear a 50 jacket, I'm comfortable in it (and it's insane to buy a lower jacket, because you impress the sales clerk, but every other person that sees you, thinks: That jacket looks a little tight on him; of course, the opposite should be the case: embarass yourself to the sales clerk, and look good to the rest of the world.

So I have four extra suits that are 48s, that I'm ready to sell, but I'm tempted to keep them in case I will actually begin to fit in them once I continue to slim down. . . probably won't fit, but I figure it's worth the couple of months of effort.